The Proposal

As told by Evan

If you’re going to ask the girl you love to marry you, you try to make it memorable.

But it’s hard to keep such a big secret from the person you share everything with. I wanted the proposal to be dramatic — like a magic trick. I wanted her to think something was going on here when the real trick was happening over there. And then when the time was right — ta-da! — I’m on my knee with the engagement ring.

In the end, the sleuthing, the paranoia, and the complexities of planning an event whose main star would be oblivious to it all was worth the hassle. On August 22nd, when I got down on one knee to propose to Kelly, I couldn’t stop smiling. I was so happy to finally ask her to marry me. It was the culmination of our six-plus year relationship as well as three months of scheming.

Kelly, meanwhile, couldn’t believe what was happening.

Up until then, she had no idea that the prize for the treasure hunt we were doing was the ring in my hands nor that my family, whom we were “competing” against, were actually setting up for a celebration once the prize went on her finger.

•

Before I even had the ring, I settled on proposing during my family’s beach vacation late in the summer. I wanted to propose someplace that Kelly and I like and that represented who we are – a laid-back, beautiful beach like the Outer Banks seemed appropriate.

After sharing my plans with my mom, she mentioned a treasure hunt as a cool way to propose. The idea stuck and I ran with it. The seeds were planted soon after a few weeks later in June at a family gathering when my mom casually mentioned she wanted to do some type of scavenger hunt on our vacation.

Then, I went to work.

I bought a treasure chest off of Craigslist and turned it into a container worthy of the prize it would hold. I refinished it, added new hardware, filled the inside lid with a photo collage of Kelly and I, and found little things to put inside for when we “won” the treasure hunt.

I found (and made some) decorations to put up at the after party.

I brainstormed places that would make good clues for the hunt and take us to several of our favorite locations throughout OBX (see the map here), wrote the clues themselves, and worked out the logistics of how long it would take to complete.

I sweated every detail from the color of the finish on the treasure chest, to the photos pasted inside the lid, to the customized champagne glasses for us to celebrate with, to the menu of food at the after-party, to the words I spoke before asking her to marry me.

If you don’t believe me, just ask one of my family members to forward you the email I sent before our vacation breaking everything down. It was about as long as this story and covered every logistical detail I could fathom. As I said in that email, “she deserves a good surprise for as patient as she’s been waiting for me to do this!”

So by the time our beach vacation rolled around, I was ready to go.

••

Monday was a beautiful day at the beach. It was hot, but the sun floated in-between fluffy clouds, the waves crashed with just the right frequency, and the air smelled like salt-water.

Kelly thought it was another day at the beach. It was the perfect day to get engaged.

The treasure hunt was designed to be a total surprise to Kelly until the very end. She thought it was a competition between her and I against four other teams made up from my family. That meant that it had to be possible to compete with multiple teams, even if Kelly and I were the only ones truly doing so. When it was time, we all gathered in the living room for my mom – who took on the role of the game-master – to go over the rules:

1. There are a total of 6 clues.
2. Each clue takes you someplace where you have to do something. Take a picture of you or your teammate doing it and send it to me (via text message) to receive the next clue.
3. There is a time limit of 20 minutes at each location, so if you have trouble doing the action within 20 minutes, then send me a picture of the location and I’ll give you the next clue.
4. You win when you get to the treasure map (the sixth clue). There is only one map that leads to the prize, so if you find it, you win!
5. The order of the clues is random for each team.

The prize was never spelled out. My mom played up how great and awesome it was, but never showed her cards.

Kelly and I had multiple conversations before the beach trip trying to guess what the prize could be. I think I made a pretty compelling argument for it being some type of large raft. Even though she had no idea what the prize was, she made it very clear to me in those conversations (and especially during the treasure hunt) that she wanted to win it!

The treasure hunt began by each team picking out a “random” clue (all of them were the same) written on a folded piece of paper from a jar. Then we took a group selfie and my mom counted us down:

“3…2…1…Go!”

We all rushed outside. Once in my car, Kelly said to start driving while we figure out the clue on the way. She didn’t need much time, though. She was sharp! She unfolded the paper, read the first few lines, and then quickly told me to start driving to…

Clue 1 – Avalon Pier

“If you want the treasure at the end, you must also find it here.
Play a game of “Yes or No” at this nearby pier.
Once you’ve sealed your deal, show me what you’ve won.
A single ticket is all you need to continue on your hunt.”

On our way there, I could tell how amped up Kelly was. She really wanted to win! I told her I thought we had a pretty good chance at it and tried to calm her down as she lamented that our first clue was a grueling 20 minute drive away.

That long drive was intentional. What Kelly didn’t know is that after our car left, everyone else drove around the block before coming back to the beach house to setup for an after party — her and I were the only ones “on the hunt.” I purposefully spaced out all the clues to take about an hour and a half to give them enough time to do everything they needed to do.

I’m told it was a mad house as they had quite the laundry list of tasks:

• Hang decorations
• Pick up catering
• Put out food / drinks / desserts
• Hide the map
• Stash the shovels
• Bury the treasure chest

I hoped they would be able to get everything done by the time we got back; meanwhile, Kelly was strategizing how to be the most efficient. I picked Avalon Pier purely for their arcade version of Deal or No Deal, a game that Kelly and I are basically experts at winning. The clue was pretty clear about what we were supposed to do (“Play a game of “Yes or No” at this nearby pier”) and what we needed to move on (“A single ticket is all you need”).

“When we get there, let’s just accept the first deal we’re offered and get a ticket,” Kelly said.

This took me by surprise. I had anticipated to spend some time at each of these places and enjoy the build-up to the big moment. But, hey, I liked the spirit in this girl! We agreed to her plan of attack and rushed inside once we arrived.

But there was a problem: the machine was shut down. In fact, it was unplugged.

“Well, you knew there would be hiccups,” I told myself.

Not wanting to short out the machine by turning it back on myself, and knowing that I could bend the rules that I made up, I suggested we only needed a single ticket and that we could get one from any game, but take the photo in front of Deal or No Deal.

So, we played one of those “coin bulldozer” games. As soon as it printed some tickets, Kelly grabbed them and was ready for the photo-op.

I estimate this took a total of 3 minutes when I had planned for it to take about 10 minutes (oops!). So when we got back into my car and texted my mom the photo, I wasn’t surprised that the response with the next clue wasn’t immediate – I knew she had her hands full!

After a few anxious minutes of waiting, the 2nd clue arrived and sent us another 20 minutes south back towards Nags Head to a place I’ll never forget, even if I’d like to…

Clue 2 – The Fritz Carlton

“Nothing’s ever perfect, even at the beach.
Your bed may sound like rain sticks or your bathing suit might get bleached.
But with a media library to distract you from the pain,
the trip to this ritzy house was not made in vain.
So, take a picture with the sign out front and hope to stay away,
once you do I’ll have a clue for you to keep hunting straightaway.”

The Fritz Carlton is the name of the house we stayed at the first year Kelly joined our family for vacation. Its pun – Fritz – is reflective of its inability to live up to the standard of the five-star hotel that is its namesake.

It will be remembered most in my family for having what we dubbed “rainstick beds,” because any movement while laying in them made the sound of rainsticks. This made falling asleep difficult – well that and the fact that the mattresses we’re about as thin as a sock. The Fritz Carlton also touted its expansive “media library” which was a small collection of faded VHS tapes. And, finally, to make sure we never forgot it, the pool chemicals were so imbalanced for the first few days of our stay that it discolored several bathing suits throughout the Luzi family.

So our mission was to find the dreaded Fritz and take a pic with the big, old wooden sign that had the house’s name plastered on it which sat along the beach road.

After a mix-up with the addresses, Kelly had us going in the right direction, but as Google Maps announced we arrived, there was no sign!

“Uh-oh,” I thought. “Now the second clue has a hiccup, too?!”

I was sure the sign was going to be there. In fact, I specifically remembered having seen it the year before while out on a jog, but I hadn’t had time to scope it out the day before.

All of this is rushing through my head as I’m unsure how to handle this obstacle. There was a sign on the house, but we couldn’t pull in to the driveway because there were people staying there. Plus, one of the tenants was walking up to the mailbox. As I continued to drive away from the house, Kelly was having none of it.

“You need to turn around!” she said, worried that we were losing ground to the other teams.

And so we did the next best thing: we parked across the street and took a photo with the house in the background where you can barely see the “new” and “upgraded” sign. In retrospect, it was appropriately Fritzy.

So with the consolation photo sent to my mom, we received our third clue in response. It would take us only a short drive away and was the one I was most worried about…

Clue 3 – Jeannette’s Pier

“They say there’s plenty of fish in the sea,
but for you there’s only one.
At this wooden walkway, they swim below and rest above.
Each one has a name – some unique and some the same.
Find one that matches either of yours to move on with this game.”

Jeannette’s pier is a great place to see the beauty of the beach and the coastline. Along the pier they have fish plaques that donors choose to have messages engraved on. Our mission here was to find a fish with one of our names on it.

My family actually bought one of the fish plaques the Christmas before in memory of several loved ones we’ve lost who enjoyed the beach. So, the day before after our long drive down, we all visited the pier to see it – though there was a secret mission: scout the location of a fish with Kelly or I’s name on it. I figured there had to be one, right? But I wasn’t sure where it was nor how long it would take to find one.

(Thus the rule about 20 minutes at any location – that was my Plan B.)

Thankfully, Dan, my sister’s boyfriend, was eagle-eyed enough to spot one and show me where it was: third lamppost on the pier, in the middle. I had my mark.

Back in our hunt, there was a second secret mission transpiring: my brother, Tony, and his girlfriend, Amanda – another “team” in the hunt – were waiting there as decoys. When we pulled up and parked, I sent Tony a text, “we’re here.”

As we walked up the wooden planks, Tony and Amanda crossed our paths as if they had finished their clue there.

“Good luck,” Tony said as he passed by.

They sold it perfectly. Kelly wondered how far along they were in their hunt.

Meanwhile, I realized that I should probably pretend to be looking at the fish plaques for a name, even though I already know where the right one is. So I start staring down with Kelly following about 10 feet behind me. Suddenly, before you even get into the room to pay to get onto the pier, I spot one with Kelly’s name on it – not the one Dan saw the day before.

I had a brief moment of crisis wondering if I could pretend not to see it (I was still trying to stall for more time), but I figured Kelly might see it and I didn’t want to raise suspicious.

So, I called out to her and took her photo pointing to where it reads, “With Love for Kelly.”

For all the build-up in which fish to find, where it was, if we’d be able to find it, I found the perfect phrasing on a plaque no less than 50 feet up the walkway leading onto the pier.

That armed us with what we needed to continue on the treasure hunt…

Clue 4 – Kitty Hawk Kites

“Across the road from the biggest dunes is a busy shop with many toys.
They have something for everyone including silly hats and kites for girls and boys.
Try on three of those hats each,
send me the photos, and you’ll be on your way to the next spot along the beach.”

This is the only clue I had to nudge Kelly to get right. She rightfully guessed Kitty Hawk Kites, but seemed unsure. After briefly feigning indecisiveness, I told her I thought she was right and punched the address into Google Maps (nevermind that it was already in my history).

Kitty Hawk Kites is pretty much a tourist trap. While I’m sure locals may go there occasionally, for our family it mostly exists as a rainy day shopping destination where we like to try on silly hats. So what did the clue have us do? More silly hats, of course.

As soon as we arrived, we bolted for the hats section and took three quick photos in a row. I would’ve liked to have spent more time finding the right hat for me, but I didn’t want to upset Kelly who was still in competition mode and wearing some intimidating armor on her head.

By this time, we were too good at the treasure hunt. I guess it helps when someone on the team has designed the game.

We were blazing through these clues. I was worried everybody back at the house wasn’t going to have enough time. I was worried the treasure chest wouldn’t get buried. I was worried the map wouldn’t be there when we needed it.

As we began nearing the end, the weight of what was to come started to rest on my shoulders. I was at once excited and nervous and incredibly anxious. The treasure hunt was distracting, in a way, and those moments between clue hunting offered me nothing but time to consider that I would be engaged within an hour. So, I started practicing my proposal speech in my head.

Thankfully, before I could venture too deep into the rabbit hole, clue 5 arrived and we were moving ever closer to the elusive treasure…

Clue 5 – Surfin’ Spoon

“Before you find the treasure,
it’s time to give a little back.
Karma can repay you in exchange for some cold hard cash.
In the ceiling of this place, put a dollar or two.
Take a picture, maybe eat some yogurt, and I’ll give you your next clue.”

Right across the street from our beach house last year was this small, friendly frozen yogurt place called Surfin’ Spoon. It was within walking distance and instantly became a go-to destination after almost every meal. So when we booked our beach house in the same area for this year, Surfin’ Spoon was something Kelly and I were looking forward to.

(As an aside: there are two main roads that run up and down the Outer Banks – a highway and a beach road. When we left the house at the beginning, everyone else moved their cars to a parking lot off the beach road. Since we’d be ending the hunt close to our house and since they’d theoretically still be “competing” when we got back as winners, their cars couldn’t be seen in the driveway. I had intentionally planned our route to take us along the highway before turning down the beach road to avoid passing that parking lot with everyone’s cars. But as we were driving up to a red light, Kelly told me to turn right and take the beach road to save time. Doing that, however, would’ve pointed us straight at the parking lot with everyone’s cars. So I simply said, “I think it’s just as fast to stay on this road,” and mercifully the light turned green.)

One of the cool traditions at Surfin’ Spoon is shoving money in the ceiling. You walk inside, look up, and there’s a huge stash of cash floating above you. Customers put whatever they want up there – small bills, big bills, or coins. Then, as the summer gives way to winter, the wood in the ceiling relaxes and the money drops. The owners of Surfin’ Spoon collect it and donate it to charities that benefit kids with autism.

It’s not only fun to put money in the ceiling (I mean, where else do you do that?), but it’s for a good cause. And since doing so is so unique, and since Surfin’ Spoon was so close to where I wanted the treasure hunt to end, it seemed like a natural final destination.

I have to admit, however, I felt a little strange doing this clue. We burst inside, I stood on a chair to put a couple of bucks in between the wood planks, and then we left. I desperately wanted to get some froyo, but Kelly desperately wanted to win.

“See you later tonight!” I shouted as we left.

As I climbed into the car, Kelly said, “You should just drive to the house. I’m like 99% sure the prize is there, so we should just go there now.”

I was worried. I wanted to stall for more time. We hadn’t received the final clue yet and that could mean, potentially, that nobody back at the house had seen we were almost done. I didn’t want to stumble upon any of the party setup and spoil the big reveal.

So, I hemmed and hawed and, thankfully, the final clue was received. That gave me the go-ahead to drive back to the house.

•••

We were so close to the end at this point. There had been hiccups like the Deal or No Deal machine and the Fritz Carlton sign, but for the most part everything had gone smoothly. I was within reach of surprising Kelly with the proposal of a lifetime.

And then as I pulled up into the driveway of our beach house, my heart skipped a beat. Walking up the driveway was Tony and Amanda.

“What are Tony and Amanda doing here?” Kelly asked.

“Well, shit.” I thought. How could I explain away this one? I couldn’t. I had built them up as our main competition to Kelly, but here they were seemingly not competing at all.

Once again, Tony and Amanda played it cool. They saw us and just kept walking up to the house. And I did the only thing I could think to do and that was likely the most believable: I played dumb.

“I have no idea. That’s weird,” I said.

And then I did my best to distract Kelly from thinking about that too much because that was a path I could ill afford her quick-thinking mind to venture down. So, I asked what the next clue said and blurted out the answer before she could guess.

Final Clue – The Treasure Map

“You’re near the end, but not quite done.
You’ll have to find one more thing to finish the hunt.
Once you do, the treasure’s yours!
There’s only one winner in this OBX tour.
It’s near our house at someplace fishy guarded by a pirate.
Inside a bottle is a map and key,
take them both for your treasure requires it.”

The final clue lead us to the treasure map. And, as far as Kelly knew, if we found the treasure map then we had won!

The clue hinted at “someplace fishy” which referenced a kitschy souvenir boutique across the street called Something Fishy. I had walked over there earlier in the morning and found this menacing pirate statue unlike anything else around it. The statue made the perfect guard for the map stashed behind inside an aqua blue bottle with the all-important treasure chest key.

“We did it. That means we won!” I said as I snatched the bottle and popped the cork.

Kelly couldn’t have been more excited to get our hands on the map. I could tell she was rushed with adrenaline — as was I knowing what was coming up shortly.

••••

In fact, Kelly was skeptical that we had actually won. She wanted to get to the treasure ASAP in case someone else was hot on our tail, so we rushed to get the shovels hidden by the beach access and walked through the sand to find a wooden “X” instructing us where to dig.

Conveniently, it was right in front of our beach house and – appropriately – my camera was at the top of our beach access. This was, of course, no accident. Before the treasure hunt began, I mentioned to Kelly that I wanted to do a time lapse while we were out and about. So I placed my camera out on the pavilion near the dunes with every intention of using it to film the proposal instead.

I paused Kelly before our shovels hit sand: “Ooo! Let me get my camera so I can film us digging it up. I think my mom would really like to see that.”

But I didn’t need only the camera. The ring was in my camera bag. So I ran up, grabbed the camera, and came back down with my heart beating strong.

Kelly, knowing me and putting up with me, patiently waited while I framed up the perfect shot.

Then, as soon as I hit record and went to pick up the shovel, I realized I had forgotten the ring! So I made Kelly wait again, grabbed the ring, made up some excuse about needing a filter, and went to work digging.

Now my heart was really beating hard. With my first shovel of sand, I thought, “Here we go…”

And as we dug, I repeated in my head the little speech I had prepared.

Not long after, our shovels hit the plastic container that contained the treasure chest. We set them aside, pulled it out from the ground, and set the treasure chest up. I handed Kelly the key for the lock and nervously wrangled the ring from out my pocket.

As she unlocked it and opened it up, I got behind her, went down on one knee, and waited for her to turn around. When she looked back and saw me, my heart was racing and I did my best to tell her how I felt:

“Kelly, I’ve known for a long time that you’re the right one for me. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re beautiful, and when we’re together I’m a better person. You’re my soul mate, my other half, my closest friend, and I love you very much. So, will you make me the happiest man in the world: will you marry me?”

“Yes!” she said.

“Yes?” I confirmed

“Yes,” she said once more just in case!

It was such a blur. We laughed, we kissed, we hugged, and we drank champagne.

We spent about 30 minutes on the beach as I vomited out all of the secrets I had been keeping from her. I showed off the treasure chest, the photos, the champagne glasses. I told her how her best friend has known forever and how intimidated I was to ask her parents for their blessing. I told her how excited I was she said yes and how relieved I was to have done it.

I told her how much I loved her.

And I told her that there was another surprise for her once we went inside.

When we finally came up from the beach, we were greeted by cheers from the family and the final surprise for Kelly: her parents had come down to celebrate with all of us. It’s probably my favorite moment in the video: when we walked into the house and she saw that her parents were there, too. You can see such genuine surprise, sincere happiness, and glee. I’m so glad they were able to be there.

The entire day was a whirlwind and I’m so amazed that it went as well as it did. I couldn’t have asked for it to go any better.

•••••

I was not a one-man-band on this proposal. I did a lot of the work, sure, but much of it depended on help and advice from others with my family shouldering the bulk of the load.

Everyone’s effort meant a lot to me: my siblings Kevin, Tony, Kathy, Kyle, Traci; their partners Amanda and Dan; my cousin Matt; Kelly’s parents Julie and Ray; and of course my parents Patti and Pete. Without all of them, I couldn’t have pulled off this proposal. Each person had an important role to play in the surprise and it was so memorable for Kelly and I. I want to specifically thank my mom, Patti, and sister, Traci, who went the extra mile and did an awesome job of cooking, decorating, and planning for the champagne party afterward.

I desperately need to thank Kelly’s friend Ashley – who knew longer than anyone – for her immeasurably great advice as I was ring shopping, planning the proposal, and thinking of ideas. Also, thank you to my friend Connor – who proposed mere weeks before me as well – for his words of wisdom; my friend Kuni for his support, excitement, advice, and for filming part of the video above; and all the other people whom I shared my plans with that shared their stories, missteps, and wished me luck.

Finally, I have to thank Kelly for saying yes! It would’ve been pretty awkward otherwise.

I love you, Kelly, very much. I wanted to give you the proposal you deserved after waiting for 6+ years. I’m humbled by your love and lucky that you share mine. We’ve come a long way from talking all night on AIM and wondering what our lives had ahead of us – so, I’m excited that we get to keep finding out together.

Watch the video